It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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