i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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