Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm having to shit out rocks
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
