You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
