oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
