I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We got so high we made milksteak
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
