Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
