somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
