Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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