Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
