i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
