I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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