What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
