how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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