that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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