I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
