it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
