Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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