I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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