remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
