How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
