Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
