Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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