Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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