Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
