can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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