Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
