You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
