just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
