ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
