Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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