I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
