Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
