its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
