Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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