She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
