i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
