I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
