I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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