Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
