So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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