Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
