put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
