My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
