Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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