Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize