his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
