Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
