you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
