Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
