im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
