My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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