the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
