on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
