Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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