who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
