When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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