I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
