He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize