STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
