Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
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