Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
