You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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